Got a Blank Space

where my mind should be...

I had initially, on hearing these lyrics, thought of them as a sort of negative. Like, suppose somebody had done something horrific and now could only think in the nothings of what horrific things leave of our lives. And I think that they do mean that, but today while I was practicing I had another thought about them as I was striving to clear my mind of all thought I realized that I was striving for that blank space, and that the memories of being free of bodily concerns is the driving force behind why to practice. So I will try to steal time from my faulty plans and spend time on the less faulty ones...

In other news I have been going to class on the weekends and being re-inspired. This weekend I went to my usual saturday morning class which didn't push me very hard so I also went on sunday. It all started out really hard, in that I am used to practicing by myself and breathing in and out as I see fit, but invariably when I was beginning the inhale the teacher would say "exhale and do whatever" which just kept throwing me off balance. She seemed to be out of whack a bit, her directions weren't very clear and I found myself having to look around for confirmation of what was going on more than I'd like. But then we got to the inversion part of the show where she called for forearm stand and I thought, ooh, I think I might be able to do that so I just pretended that I could and up I went. It was magical and easy and made all of the other crap worthwhile. So today while I was practicing in my tripod headstand I decided to go on up a little and boy was that magnificent. So I am all studly yoga lady now, but then I drew the 5 of pentacles which always reminds me to stay humble and not get all big headed.

but it sure was fun

Bus

Abbey climbed on the bus and was whooshed off, I thought I might have a moment about that but my moment is instead about how now Ella and I have these 2 days a week together just us and I'm not sure why that is seeming so special today but it is.

The first of many

Today was my first day of having a little guaranteed time to myself on a regular scheduled basis, and oh my lordy was it ever amazing. I put on my next in line Phish show and started out with some sun salutations. It was hard to block out the voices and the plannings, so I abandoned my regularly scheduled ashtanga short form and dug out that ana forest ab thing that I have been meaning to check out. woo, yeah, I'll be doing that a lot before I can actually do it... So then I'm trying to figure out what to do next and I remember back last year when I was doing a lot of stuff out of the jivamukti book, so I haul that out and it was like putting on the old poncho that fits perfectly, and then that first little part of bouncin came on and I learned that the woman in the dream I had is ME.