8 of cups reversed and the chariot.

The 8 of cups means to keep on keeping on, which is similar to the chariot, although I feel like the chariot's horses are usually the girls and the card is usually to remind me of my job of driving them each but together also. And to try and use the most subtle suggestion necessary to get the result...

I got some good practicing in yesterday, but I am not sure that I will today. maybe. I asked for some time this evening but John has a party to go to that takes precedence. So I get to choose between ignoring the children and my work.

King of wands reversed and strength reversed. This King, while still J, is not reversed on me but I think rather shows just how sucky the job is going currently. That is where I can possibly help, if allowed. Change is hard and this job has been his primary metaphor for half of his life. I'm not sure how strength reversed fits here, but I'm sure it will become clear with time. I still have no clue what yesterdays cards were all about either.

Abbey has her little show today and she is the understudy for the spider. She was so nervous this morning that she couldn't eat her breakfast. I told her to break a leg and she gave me that look, with those huge eyes that were full of bewilderment, why would I suggest she break a leg? It all reminds me of when she was barely 2 and the spanish class lady wanted her to stand on stage on a chair and sing in front of a whole room full of people. Instead she ran to the rocking horse and rocked for all she was worth... break a leg, sing a solo, poor dabbers does put up with me sometimes...

So I have some thoughts on yesterday's cards. The sun is easy, hanging out with the fam is always sunny. Though getting a touch towards twilight but not yet dimming... The reversed cups is my old nemesis drunk John. Yesterday he thought it would be cool to correct me not once but several times in front of other people. And then the sarcasm monster came out to play later. Lame. My ignore button is getting a lot of work lately, but it's of course all my fault because I am such a strange bird. Oh, and rude, don't forget that. Oh, and did you know that I won't clean the bathroom? because I won't. I do not want to, and I particularly do not want to when it seems that it is some sort of requirement to earn the respect of my partner. That's just not the way I roll, and it is not a secret or something that has changed recently if ever.

And again today with the reversed knight of cups, it is most definitely J. In shamanic tradition this card can mean that dream interpretation can be necessary and fortunately he woke me up this morning to tell me all about his dream where I was playing my bass in a river, and that there was water pouring down also and he was worried that I needed rescuing. I may not have that entirely right but I remember he said that I was playing bass and not cello and that there was a lot of water.

My other card today was the 8 of wands, the falling in love card. I shall pay attention to that energy today... I am intrigued...

The sun and the Knight of Cups reversed. hmmm. I will have to pay attention today to see what those mean...

Had a great gig last evening with Matt and Dirk, 2 saxes and bass. We are off to grandma's today, liable to sit around and watch football I imagine.

Queen of Cups and 2 of wands reversed. This Queen is new, I do not usually pull her, I wonder if she stands for my friend here in town who is having troubles... She is certainly groovy and magical and I would aspire to merge my creativity with function as well as she appears to. The reversed wands are all about magical change and new experiences I hope. rather than deception. eeek.

4 of wands reversed and 3 of pentacles. I am dreading and trying to avoid the turkey day baloney by taking a trip to the country. Work is going well and mastery is assured.

yay.

Abbey is insistent that I only make her pink with brown stripes this season. She will not have the pompom hat in bikini stripes, just brown, with a stripe of pink. please. ?!

Ella will allow some pink but only with a blue accent. the blue blend of the beach yarn is tolerable also, but the blue silk is really where it's at.

Practice and all is coming.

King of wands reversed and knight of swords. I got a new reversals book the other day and since then the only entry I have pulled is this king of wands. Twice. Just to reiterate, before pulling a card I always shuffle 3 times and then do a hand shuffle to try and touch every card a little, then I cut the deck and keep the card that comes up on the bottom of the right hand pile. I was reading in my new book and learned that court cards are often other people, which reinforces who this king of wands is. I think the knight is the dabbers, though, she is charging off into first grade willy nilly.

King of wands reversed and the Empress. On Wednesdays Abbey goes to the rise and shine runners club before school. It usually works out nicely because John doesn't go until after I get back so I don't have to wake Ella up and drag her along to drop off Abbey. Last night John decided to go golfing with his dad at 6:30, which meant that Ella would have to get up and come with me. I do not understand why the golfing could not wait a half hour?! As it turned out I got Ella up and she screamed in my face about doing her socks wrong which was simply marvelous first thing, then John showed up just before I had to leave because it was too cold and the course wouldn't let anyone on. So then I go to drive Abbey to school and for some reason the car was not in the garage for this first morning of frost so we were late because I had to defrost the windows. Why do we have a garage if not to keep the car in it so as to not have to deal with the elements? I am so beyond irritated. These past 3 days it seems almost as if he is trying to be as clueless and in the way as possible.

3 of swords and 2 of swords (again). So I must be a little cranky? Ya think? I'm not so cranky today... it must still be leaking over from yesterday. Well, I am a little cranky because I had my folks all lined up to come babysit. My mom really likes to come and my dad tolerates it I think, anyway, somebody decided not to go to work so I had to call and cancel my folks and I feel bad that my mom won't get to hang out with Ella and vice versa. And I'm a bit cranky about it, yes I am.

This show I am listening to from 10-17-1985 is funny! Trey sounds like a nervous nelly. Dave's Energy Guide is a pretty alright tune, I wonder why they stopped playing it?

2 of swords and 9 of pentacles.

I am filled with irritation. With myself first and foremost because I am not practicing all things the way that I should. With my partner secondly for being so irritating and selfish. Just because you do not have to go downtown does not entitle you to a "day off" I do not know what that means but you need to get out of the bed and help out with the children because then maybe I will be able to have the energy to practice my cello see irritation #1.

I wish I had a graph for these card draws... or a chart... hmmm...

OK, off to start transcribing something.

Fool reversed and 3 of cups reversed. Blockage is occurring in the spontaneity vein and it is causing disruption with revelry making.

Abbey is practicing the piano, she is playing old macdonald and every time she messes up she starts over. She keeps messing up at the same place, where you jump up to play eieio, but I am not telling her to isolate that phrase and fix the problem first, rather I am listening to this stinking song over and over and over. Yay! But she is getting it and on her own terms and that is not a sarcastic yay.

I am almost sick with worry because John rode his bike to Paul's to watch the bears where I am certain he had more than 2 beers and is now probably riding home drunk with no helmet.

Death and the Empress reversed. Coming to a truth with logic that causes great change. Sounds like an excellent plan.

King of Pentacles reversed and Knight of Pentacles. So, I need to not worry about fame and fortune and just do good service work or something. OK.

What I'd truly like, though, is to not have to feel like some sort of wacko for not eating meat. I am sorry that I assumed that when I was invited to dinner that there would be something for me to eat. In the future I shall bring something. I just want to know why it is so terrible to have a meal without meat in it. When I was a kid we used to have meatless dinner, and more often we would have just a tiny amount of meat in a mostly veg entre. This is my worldview, though and I am doing my best to be understanding of everyone's choices as they are all valid. Even the choice to ostracize the vegetarian, I must accept that as valid as well but it sure does suck. I am truly trying to meet in the middle from a place of love and kindness, at least that is my intention though it is so hard.

Ella and I had a fun time playing with her little piano books this morning, and Abbey and I had a fun time playing with hers the other evening. Hopefully it can all continue to be fun and games.

The daisy meeting went OK. The bossy lady can't spell. There was pee. The whole thing lasted way too long again. Better to start earlier than to go so late.

Ace of pentacles and Ace of Swords reversed. During the full moon. Must keep a grip on all of the emotions that can swirl all around. Naptime!

5 of pentacles showed up again yesterday, reversed.