Empress and the page of swords reversed.  Full moon in Virgo, last day of February, can it just not be cold for a minute?  I am anxiously awaiting that first day where it actually feels like it won't be winter forever.  It might not even come for several months but I am ready.

Empress and the Ace of Cups.  At least she is right way up this time, although she makes me rather uncomfortable either way, which is I think exactly her intention today.  Today is the day where I must accept everything that flows through just like a mama should.

2 of wands reversed and 10 of wands reversed.  After the ace yesterday I think the wands are the order of the day, I wish I had one with a poker on the end.  Partner parent spent last evening at the pub celebrating some lonely work associate's birthday.  I fell asleep contemplating this job that I do and wondering if it is harder to think that there is help when there isn't any or for there to in fact not be any.  I was awakened at 2 am by the stumbler who had fallen asleep on the train and then had to walk from some ungodly distance. 

Today is the first grade field trip to a production of Beauty and the Beast, and also the spelling test.  This week's words that were tricky were statue and Saturday.

Yesterday we received a package from the creative girls club and we made a pillow.  I want to go over to Joanne's and get some more materials and make a few more. 

Ella is at a trying age, and that is all I have to say about that.

4 of cups and Judgement. 

Wheel reversed and the Ace of Wands.  If you hold a burning torch underneath the wheel the rising heat causes a wind that turns the wheel.  I have been feeling like my job is to be that heat and fire that motivates other folks to get their wheel rolling.  I am currently trying to ignite my band mates into creating a halloween event, or something...

Abbey was up last night with the cough again but the honey seems to take the edge off.  We had fun at the book fair at school and spent way too much money. 

8 of pentacles reversed and the 6 of pentacles.  I was reminded by pulling this 6 that I haven't seen the 5 lately.  The reversed 8 tells me to do it right or not at all and the 6 tells me that the right amount is what gets done with the best intention. 

Abbey is really getting into the swing of this all day school thing, we have a good routine in the morning now, finally.  I was thinking today that when we add the Ella layer it should come first, before the Abbey layer so as to not disrupt that too much.  Also, that way Ella cannot interfere with Abbey's business because she will be busy.

Hopefully the partner parent will alter the working schedule in order to move bedtime up another half hour next year. 

I will be happy when the coughing season is passed, although I would take coughing over starving...

5 of cups reversed and the Hierophant reversed.  It is Kara day!  and Kara means dear so have a special day with your dear ones.  I started my day with my usual snuggles from Ella and I will be a sad mama when that one is too big for my lap. 

the Moon and the knight of wands reversed.  The sun is shining is so brightly this morning that you have to shade your eyes if you are trying to see something that way

Strength reversed and the 5 of cups reversed.  This reversal can signal the awakening of your magical power, whether for good or ill.  There has been a bit of a theme emerging of giving it all away, or back, or to the universe or whatever...  An urging to not keep the bennies and to also not even be tempted by them.  It is noble but very confusing in practice. 

The thing last evening was really nicely done, I thought.  Not too crowded and pretty tightly planned.  All with an eye towards having the kids come up with all of the ideas while the pros held the vessel that shaped them into their various forms.  I think the girls had a nice time.  They were trying to be pissed off at the end that we couldn't just stay and play but it was bedtime and that place shuts down at night. 

Ella is really making leaps and bounds with feeling independent.  She decided that she was going to climb the mast, and up she went.  Slow and steady.  I thought the worker bees were particularly with it also, they were all engaging and helpful, encouraging her to learn how to do it, not just get on up out of the way. 

I am off to play some tunes and then do some baking, or maybe a little baking and then the tunes...

Wheel reversed and the Emperor reversed.  It's like the wheel started rolling one way and now is rolling backwards over me the other say, but still, I will only be under the wheel until it launches, right? 

Abbey was telling me today about her new friend Emilia, who invited her to a special lunch at school.  I am so relieved for her to finally find someone to connect with, I know she has been aching to find friends and casting about rather unsuccessfully. 

We are off this evening to this event.  I hope everyone has an enjoyable time.  Ella heard the advert on the radio and insisted I see if there were tickets and lo and behold they were 11 bucks total for all 3 of us.  We'll have to fork it over for parking but still, not so very pricey.  I am interested in how much doing versus watching there will be...

Wheel reversed and that reversed Empress again.  What does she want to tell me?  Has it to do with my mothering or my mother? 

2 of cups and the empress reversed.  Something has been making me feel super crummy these past few days.  I started feeling off and out of sorts on Saturday and then Sunday started off with a kidney stone attack, which I felt like I handled fairly well but then the rest of the day proceeded to have chills and nausea and just so sleepy.  Today so far so good, my back is super sore so all signs still point to kidney stone, again.  Really not so bad this time, though. 

I am sad to miss the chinese new year parade but I am glad that the loud people had somewhere to go that was away from me. 

king of cups and the empress reversed.  Happy Darwin Day!  Ella is running late because Abbey was up coughing overnight.  The rest of us seem none the worse for it, except maybe Abbey but she is never interested in missing school.  ever.  I am ambivalent about my pfunk encounter this evening but it's a good test for my coping skills work. 

High Priestess reversed and the 2 of swords.  Yikes.  It would seem, and I have been noticing it for a few days, that my practice has gone a layer deeper.  Everything has been turned up a notch, I've been remembering the causes of certain memories that I thought were the roots.  It's all been slightly uncomfortable but not bad.

Elsewhere in my world Abbey and I had a good thing going there for about a week where she was staying really on top of getting herself ready in the morning, but this morning we had to bring a whole bagel and the gummy vites to the bus stop and I got some sass about it being time to go.  My solution, that I have been attempting to implement with varying success is to have bedtime be earlier, which means that dinner needs to be earlier, which means that the other parent needs to come home from work earlier.  The other parent is very resistant as this would mean getting up earlier in the morning or ditching that extra day off every other weekend. 

Ella has been going through a trying phase that was only helped by threatening to take away lamby.  I think I understand better than most what that would mean for her so I did my best to help her make choices to keep lamby, and so far so good, the behavior is better and lamby never had to go to time out but it was touch and go there for awhile.

Fool reversed and the high priestess.  These cards a getting familiar, this fool reversed I think is more of a reminder that I am not the owner or controller of anything.  The priestess likes for me to be and do the expected right thing. 

Lots of new practices this week, I dug around my books and found some new stuff to work on, or rather old stuff to work on again but there is a little bit of new in there.  I had neglected to keep track of Abbey's reading log and it was due so I had to fabricate some stuff.  It's not like she doesn't read a lot, it's like it's hard to keep track of it all because she'll go on a tear and read everything in the house. 

Expectations for this year are hard to muster, is it bad to not want to look ahead too far?

Page of pentacles reversed and the three of cups.  That was quite a run of swords there, and I did notice a marked increase in the doing of things.  Every morning I get the other one stuck in my head because the bus comes by and she gets on.  And then I go launching into my day. 

Ace of swords and the seven of swords reversed

Ace of swords and 6 of swords. 

Queen of wands reversed and magician reversed. 

10 of Swords (Oppression.  Overactivity.  Betrayal, treachery.  Forgeries, false seeming, disguise, perfidy.  Injustice.  Cruelty.  Obstinacy.  Travel.  Confidence, security, honor, good faith.  High stakes gambling.  Success at any cost.  Harvests.  Great rewards. 

Every day that I pull these cards I use 2 different decks.  The first card is from the fairy tale deck and then the second is from the rider waite standard deck.  Today I pulled the same card from each deck.  I am not sure if that has happened before but if it has it is not very common.  I have noticed a lot of travel cards lately, I wonder if I am headed somewhere?

Today is Imbolc, where we celebrate the goddess Brigid by burning things. 

Ace of wands (Letter.  Command, edict, decree.  Announcement.  Beginning, birth, commencement.  Invention.  Fortune, Enterprise.  An adventure.  Force, authority, order.  Origin.  Principle, pre-eminence.  Premise, cause, reaon.  House, lineage, family) and the Chariot (Triumph, victory, mastery, conquest, control.  Overcoming obstacles and adversity, progress.  Journeys, exploration.  Succor, providence.  War, disputes, turmoil, vengeance. Battles, trouble.  Anger, wrath.  Injury.  Fame, pride, arrogance, pomp)

Time to make a wish and see if it comes true.  I wish for that feeling that things are going the way that they are supposed to.