I just noticed that the moon entered virgo about a half hour ago, that can't be a bad thing for this day.  8 of Swords reversed (Luckily, ingenuity and improvisation in removing obstacles are greatly increased by the reversal) and the fool reversed (Negligence, bad decision, ineptitude, carelessness, distraction, stupidity.  Imbecility.  Imprudence.  Absence.  Apathy, exhaustion.  Nullity, void, a trifle.  Mistakes.  Hesitation.  Lack of material assets.  Abandonment.  Vain remorse.). 

8 of swords reversed (Destiny.  Fate, misfortune, accidents, danger.  Surprises.  Great Difficulties and hard work.  Mental depression.  A small success in the midst of misfortune.  Treachery in the past.) and the high priestess (Mystery, secrets, wisdom, knowledge.  The unrevealed future.  Intuition.  Retreat, retirement, sanctuary, withdrawal, meditation.  Silence, discretion, modesty, prudence, peace.  Learning, education.  Memory.  The female querent or one who interests the querent.) 

I am excited to notice an uptick in inspiration and imagination.  Ever since the wheel earlier this week I have felt like the cards and also the experiences that are resonating with me have more energy and life.  Hooray for that!  Things are feeling good and grand.

2 of pentacles (Difficulty launching new projects.  Hindrance, obstacle, obstruction, snag.  Confusion, entanglement, agitation, perplexity.  Worry.  Embarrassment.  Contract or business exchange.  Social popularity.  Inconsistency.)  and 3 of swords (removal, departure.  Separation, division, rupture.  Aversion.  Hatred.  Incompatibility.  Dissent.  Quarrel.  Perverted instincts.  Morbidity.  Loss.  Tears.  Unrequited love.  A nun.). 

8 of pentacles reversed (Vacuum.  Vacuousness.  Avarice.  Usury.  Flattery, hypocrisy.  Vanity, conceit.  Unreliability, idleness.  Insincerity.  Rashness.  Lack of training.  Lack of ambition.  Intrigue, dishonesty.  Small risks.  Work problems.) and Justice reversed (Jurist, legal professional.  Legislation, law, codes, statues.  Police. Human and natural rights.  Bigotry, bias, intolerance.  False accusations.  Legal complications.  Abuse of justice.  Overseverity.  Inequality.  Red tape.).  Meticulous work with the best materials, appropriate planetary alignments, and proper intention and invocations.  It is the heart that is weighed in the balance.  This card also relates to the threefold law of return and sacred oaths, along with the consequences for breaking such oaths. 

Wow, so today would not be a good day to mess around and be lazy and cranky.  OK, good to know, I will try and stay on top of things.

The Wheel (Fortune, destiny, fate.  Unexpected success, luck, felicity.  Inevitability.  Providence.  Prosperity, improvement, advancement.  Ascent, elevation, progress, movement.  Change, fluidity.  Culmination.  Fruitful initiative.  Winnings.  Good health.) and the Hierophant reversed (Society, institution.  Overkindness, foolish generosity, weakness.  Inappropriate intimacy, familiarity.  Susceptibility.  Impure mixture, combination, blending.  Unorthodoxy.  Sententiousness, rigid morality, inflexibility.  Renunciation.)  Those key words are not my favorites either, I prefer to think of this reversal as the prankster.  The king of the fart joke.  Puck.  The wheel is a very welcome card, I didn't realize quite how much I have been waiting to see something like it come up.  Some sort of change in this stagnant pool I've been floundering about in.  This morning the sun was back, peeking over the house by the bus stop, I had guessed that it would be sometime around Mumsie's birthday but having it be right on it seems extra special.  And now this wheel is just some more confirmation that things are getting ready to launch again.  Wonder where we'll land this time?

Page of wands reversed (Bad news, as of a lost lawsuit.  Indecision, instability, inconsistency.  Powerlessness.  Displeasure.  Announcement, notification.  Instruction, advice, admonition, Anecdotes, chronicle, story, history, tales fables.  Reviews, teachings, precepts.  Unfaithful.  Charlatanism.  Worry.)  5 of Pentacles (Lover, mistress, spouse, friend.  Affection, affinities.  To love, cherish, adore.  Suitability.  Propriety.  Perilous passion.  Material trouble, poverty.  Destitution.  Material obstacles to a love affair.  Loss.)  Sometimes these key words are helpful and sometimes they are not.  This 5 of pentacles is the card I draw most often, both reversed and right side up.  I wish I could figure out what it wants and deal with it but I don't know what to do. 

I'm playing tonight at Jilly's in Naperville with the COD folks.  I had asked John to bring the amp in on Sunday because I have been being lazy and not doing my back strengtheners and it was sore already.  Now it is Tuesday and the amp was still in the car so I asked him again this morning to please fetch it, which turned into some bitch and moan about playing through a lighter amp.  Lightbulb!  They make some really nice light weight amplifiers so that is obviously what I need to have next.  I love my ampeg tube'r but I could also love a light weight easy to lug around piece of gear...  Just trying to turn all of these little irritations into their manifested pearl selves...

King of Wands (Country gentleman.  A good, correct, pure man.  Serious, stern.  Honest, with good intentions.  Conscience, integrity.  A farmer, laborer, agriculturist.  A married man and/or father.  Talent genius.  Knowledge, education.)  Queen of Wands (Countrywoman.  Companion, consort.  Honorable, virtuous, respectable.  Feminine charm and grace.  Sympathetic, understanding.  Friendly, loving.  Civility, good manners.  Sweetness, meek and mild, good-natured.  Chaste.  Love of money.  Business success.  Thrifty, frugal, economical).  Key words are nice but when both of these cards come up together they must signify more than just their 2 separate parts.  Hopefully, since this would seem to be my aspiration, it will manifest or something. 

Magician reversed (mystery, secrets, wisdom, knowledge.  The unrevealed future.  Intuition.  Retreat, retirement, sanctuary, withdrawal, meditation.  Silence, discretion, modesty, prudence, peace.  Learning, education.  Memory.  The female querent or one who interests the querent.)  Empress (Fertility, fruitfulness, wealth.  Mother, sister, wife.  Marriage.  Loyalty, idealism.  Elegance, charm, courtesy.  Sociability.  Action, plan, undertaking.  Action, movement, progress.  Obscurity, clandestine, the unknown.  Symbol, figure, image, allegory.)

All good advice to keep in mind any old day, and especially a day like today that is expected to contain all of the extremes.  I get to spend the afternoon dealing with the person whom I find most irritating in all of the world, but my plan of attack is to try and really sit with just how it feels to be so incredibly irritated and of course to remain completely dis-engaged in all ways from her and her prattle, so I am rather looking forward to this experiment.  And then later I hopefully get to see one of my favorite folks in the whole world who I do not get to see nearly enough and I am very excited about that.  weeeeee.

Today's spell is familiar, I cast it accidentally yesterday.  I was on my way to my lesson but I was just too early, so I stopped off for a coffee where I was also unable to turn down the donut which I am trying to have less of in my life, but I could not and it was so delicious that I had a moment of savory bliss about how lucky and blessed any life is who has donuts and coffee.  And the spell today is to the God Ekeko, who is celebrated in Bolivia with coffee and pastry.  

Strength Reversed (Despotism, tyranny, abuse of power.  Sovereignty.  Kingdom, state, government, administration.  People, nation.  Weakness, helplessness, imperfection.  Anger, cruelty, discord.  Impatience.  Succumbing to temptation.)  Moon Reversed (Instability, variation, fluctuation.  Fluidity, dew, mist, rain.  Silence.  Inconstancy.  Irrational change.  Fantastic or visionary beliefs.  Slight blackmail.  Overcoming weakness or temptation.) 

I was supposed to meet J yesterday after my lesson at a party for one of his work people.  I was a little early I suppose but I sat at this place for an hour waiting for him to show up only to learn that he wasn't detained by work but rather by his decision to go to a different bar first before heading over to meet me.  Then once he showed up he was pissed at me for wanting to go get some dinner because he wanted to hang out at this party which I had already been at for an hour.  So I went to dinner by myself.  On friday night.  While my husband hung out at a bar with his work people who he sees all day every day.  Then we went to his parents house to pick up our children where he proceeded to spend his time with his dad down at the bar. 

Needless to say I am not feeling incredibly worthwhile or special in his life, I am not sure how my non drinking self even fits into his world anymore.

Death reversed (Death or accident narrowly escaped, Inertia, sleep, lethargy.  Stagnation.  Ruin.  Immobility.  Sleepwalking.  Slow or partial change.  Alteration for the better.  Discouragement, pessimism, depression.  Destruction of hope and plans.)  Knight of Wands (Departure, flight, removal, separation, distance.  Trip, journey, change of address.  Abandonment, desertion, emigration. Remote, absent, foreign.  Moving into the unknown.  Transpose, translate, transplant.  Alteration.  Evasion.  Change of position.)

Well, it would seem that these cards are oppositely oriented.  But it would seem that change is going to come and fighting or dreading it is not the best way to deal.  Change is uncomfortable and scary, though, and taxing.

4 of cups (Weariness, ennui, dejection.  Annoyance.  Boredom.  Disgust, aversion, discontent.  Dissatisfaction, displeasure.  Sorrow of spirit.  Domestic troubles.  Pains of love.  Affliction.  Adversity, hate.  Bitterness.  Unsatisfactory relationships.  Stationary period.)   and the chariot (Triumph, victory, mastery, conquest, control.  Overcoming obstacles and adversity, progress.  Journeys, exploration.  Succor, providence.  War, disputes, turmoil, vengeance, battles, trouble.  Anger, wrath.  Injury.  Fame, pride, arrogance, pomp). 

These cards seem to work together to a degree, either it is OK to take a little break from actively pushing forward as long as the intention is to be and always be a consummate professional, or it is not OK and the chariot must drive through the ennui.  Either way, eh?

2 of wands reversed (The unforeseen, surprise, astonishment.  Rapture.  Wonder, awe.  Miracle. Enchantment.  Unhoped for joy.  A return journey.  Fear, terror.  Trouble.  Domination.  New possibilities.  Unexpected loss and sorrow.  Anxiety.) and 5 of pentacles reversed (Misconduct.  Disorder, confusion, chaos, havoc, ruin.  Consumption, decline.  Dissipation.  Disgraceful love.  Imprudence, license, profligacy.  Disharmony, disaster.  Troubles in love.  Reversal of a bad trend.).  Finally a familiar card, the 5 comes up often in my world, both right side up and reversed.  Although it is one that I don't really have a handle on, it is at least familiar.  I am currently fighting some sort of disease, I woke up at 5 am with the sweats and the belly ache and then the headache set in, not sure if that is part of it.

9 of cups reversed and emperor reversed. These past few days have heralded a new batch of cards it would seem. I was sort of familiar with those old ones and now I have to figure out what these new ones might mean.

Star Reversed and Temperance

6 of swords and king of wands reversed. I seem to always draw that king during long weekends.

knight of pentacles reversed and the lovers.

2 of swords reversed and death. Going along with yesterdays cards, when one gets outside of one's head and interacts with the world there will probably be conflict and change and it might be scary.

8 of cups and 4 of cups reversed. Cups ahoy! Cups and their water flowing all around underneath everything. The 8 comes up a lot and today I decided that it means that I need to really work at letting go of any inhibitions that come into my mind in regards to the actual creation of music. I need to let go of the printed page as well as that part of my brain that says "that sucked what you just played" because it's over and done and it probably actually didn't suck that bad anyway. The 4 is exciting, because the reversal usually means an inspiring event is on the horizon. I've been missing my little friend inspiration lately so that would be nice...

knight of cups and strength reversed. I obviously have been spending too much time inside my own mind and not enough time engaging with the outside world. I need to un reverse my strength so that I can start practicing all of my stuff outwardly and in the world rather than inwardly and in my head.

page of wands and the hermit. Wouldn't it be lovely to just do that all day? To just take everything back to the beginning and have all the time and energy in the world but also the wisdom to know what is going on. Sounds heavenly. Yesterday while I was waiting for the bus I saw a fairly large hawk hunting. It dove down into the hedge and then emerged flying towards me. It flew past me pretty close, so that I could see into the eyes of the little sparrow that it held in it's claws. The hawk was just holding the little bird very tightly and it's little eyes were not terrified looking. Yet. Then they flew past and the hawk turned into my neighbor's yard. I wonder if it lives there sometimes. Oh yes, and the other day I re-learned that Pa and Mary Ingalls have the same birthday and it was just the other day.

Wheel reversed with the king of cups reversed. Happy Anniversary to me and mah gurley. These cards are a tad disconcerting when viewed in that light. We have a lot of confusion and not a lot of happy joy. Sort of a Once in a Lifetime moment, I suppose.

four of rods reversed and the magician. Always with the ambivalence about trekking out to my folks house, if I knew just how many sunday afternoons we had left to spend together I would not be squandering any but since I do not know I can squander away.

5 of Cups and Knight of Wands. It seems like Abbey is having a hard time with the social challenges of school. The persona she inhabits there comes out on the way to the bus stop, she starts stating the obvious in a strange and loud voice while not making eye contact. I do not know what to do with this information or how to help her other than by listening to her while she goes through the process. I have some residual guilt for putting her out here in the lame-o subarbs when she is most certainly a city girl.

I did my annual check of my credit score today and I am at a whopping 782. Yay me.

We played yesterday at the Scottish Home. There was a man sitting at the first table who asked to be moved to the back before we started to play. The nurse in her infinite wisdom or laziness, I do not know which convinced him that he would be fine to stay where he was. He proceeded to shit himself, there right in front right by where the band was and then he had to sit in it for the entirety of the performance. And we got to work in the waftings. Why didn't that nurse just do what the poor fellow asked? I have noticed this before in these extended care types of places where the worker bees seem to tend towards controlling rather than assisting. I do not understand why this is OK.

2 of pentacles reversed and 8 of cups reversed. Ella needs to be at school in 20 minutes but she is sleeping and I do not have the heart to wake her. She has been sick all week and I do not think missing color day White is going to set her back. Mostly I am just unable to do any of my own work, but I have been unable to do that for a few weeks now regardless so again, another day will not really matter. Today I am playing with the old folks for the old folks. Tomorrow I am playing with the old folks at borders after we have a Zazz rehearsal with Marshall Vente. Of course I am as out of shape for playing as I could possibly be after having post show letdown.

Lovers reversed and the magician. Hmmm, I stopped pulling cards there for awhile, I suppose a break from the schedule is a good thing but they are so helpful I should just always pull them. The past few days I have been really struggling to figure out what it is that I am currently inspired to do. I sort of expected a let down after the huge build up for the show and the holiday and the other show and the break from school and all of that but I still would like to muddle through it sooner than later. The lovers reversed is troubling, I really wish that that part of my life were not so contentious but wishing it were not so does nothing towards dealing with the fact that it is so. I am obsessed with the image of the pearl, and the irritant that inspires it.